So, I've looked for 5 years with little success. I've looked for people like me-people who aren't always sure they can get excited about another Open House night a mere 14 hours or so before the first day of school starts. People who love the hugs and notes they get while teaching middle schoolers, but almost get physically sick when they think about one more fight (and subsequent mob of 11 to 14-year-olds) they're going to have to attempt to break up on any given day.
I've been trying to find these people, but the closest I've come is finding people who hate every aspect of teaching at every possible moment. I wanted to find someone like me-someone who constantly daydreamed of being a waitress instead or a postman (or postwoman), but couldn't imagine doing anything other than teaching because it's so "fulfilling" at times. The "at times" part is the trickiest part of all of this, because are these fleeting times worth it all? Worth the feeling that I may never want to have any kids of my own because I've been hit over the head with some of the craziest "behavior problems" and frustrated parents in the world day after day? Will I regret all these years of teaching if it leaves me a self-imposed sterile mess?
I wanted to find someone who asked other teachers, "do you sit on the fence every day wondering if it's what you should be doing?--every day for the last 5 years???" only to get that confused-as-hell look that makes me feel even more like an idiot for living this second-to-second roller coaster ride that is teaching. Did I mention it's been 5 years?
Well, I haven't found these people, so I guess I'll start a blog, myself. Maybe someone else like me can find me--and I, in turn, can find them.
